During a recent power walk two songs blasted from my iPod playlist and the lyrics nearly stopped me in my tracks. One song has been a kind of anthem for my life and leadership and the other quite the opposite.
As I walked on I thought, “I’m definitely more Alanis and I know a few folks who are more Amy.”
So, what about you? Are you more Alanis or more Amy? I invite you to consider:
Which of these lyrics resonate with you?
What do they say about how you lead or parent?
In case you’re not familiar with these songs here are links to their videos (which are worth a watch) and the lyrics I’m comparing:
Alanis Morissette’s anthem of a song, You Learn:
“You live, you learn
You love, you learn
You cry, you learn
You lose you learn”
And contrasting that message with lyrics from Amy Winehouse’s blockbuster hit, Rehab,
“There’s nothing, nothing you can teach me.”
Our beliefs guide our actions.
When I listen to these powerful songs they remind me of one of my fundamental beliefs:
Everything that happens (even the awful, terrible and bad stuff) opens a door to learning and growth.
And, boy did Hurricane Sandy open the door to a wallop of a learning opportunity. Prior to this devastating storm I feared each nor’easter that blew through our shore town. I slept fitfully and worried about what was clearly out of my control. Now that a storm has done some real damage I’m surprisingly less fearful than I was before. I think that’s because I have experienced what I feared most and I have not only survived but grown and learned a valuable lesson about letting go of what I can’t control. I have lived and I have learned.
What beliefs guide you, your business or family?
How we lead and how we parent stems from our beliefs. For example:
- If we believe employees are lazy and not doing what we expect—we may not be the kind of leader who helps them to grow.
- If we believe we have reached the pinnacle of our profession—we may not notice a novel idea as it passes us by.
- If we believe children will only comply with our requests if we bribe them with treats—our kids may not develop an inner motivation.
Alanis’ lyrics are about learning while Amy’s lyrics are about stagnation. Which lyrics reflect your beliefs? Which lyrics reflect who you are? Which lyrics are evident in your business and in how you lead?
It seems that Alanis and Amy’s lyrics are evident in their lives. You may already know of Amy Winehouse’s tragic ending, death by alcohol poisoning at the young age of 28. And, from all appearances Alanis Morissette, now a mother, continues to grow and thrive.
I’d say that living and learning trumps stagnation whether in business, families, or life. What would you say?
images from Google images
Great post, Jamie! I’d like to think I’m like Alannis. At least I hope so. xo
No question, Lisa! You are the epitome of “Alanis.”
I definitely agree with your points, but I don’t know that most people through the tears and frustration of a painful setback are thinking, “What a great learning opportunity!” They’re thinking, “This sucks! Why me? What did I ever do?” It is only time, age, and wisdom that help us to look back and recognize the event as growing pains. Think about Alanis’ first hit, “You Oughta Know” where she screams at her ex for the pain she experienced from their break-up. Then years later she wrote the song you mentioned. I think everyone has moments of feeling both things. But I definitely agree that it is healthy to look at challenges and see the potential for growth. I try to make sure my kids learn daily lessons in disappointment! Welcome to the real world, kiddos. Look at it as a growth opportunity.
You are so right, Sharon. How could I have forgotten about “You Oughta Know.” I think what you’re saying is that it’s a process of moving from angst to reflection to learning. It seems that as I’ve gotten older the angst stage has gotten shorter. Thanks for enhancing my thinking on this. Any interest in writing a companion blog on this topic?
I would like to think that I treat all experiences as learning opportunities. This is not always the case, but I strive for that.
–JW
Thanks for your honest comment. Sometimes the learning comes way after the experience. So, perhaps you just haven’t learned all the lessons…yet.
Thanks for your honest comment, JW. Perhaps if all experiences were learning opportunities we wouldn’t get much else done.
Jamie, you are definitely Alanis and I like to think that I am too!
Absolutely, San! So nice to hear from you on the blog!
Great post.
Thanks, Julie! Always great to hear from you. Good to know you’re still reading…though I do miss your writing.
Jamie, this was a great read. I definitely believe I resonate more with Alanis. However, I am convinced that every once in a while we all turn into an Amy – extremely stubborn and convinced we know everything. Hopefully, we don’t stay in that mindset for too long.
And I can truly relate to your experiences with fear and Sandy. Lately, I’ve been trying to do one thing that scares me everyday. It’s amazing how much you feel you grow as a person once you tackle something that once scared you. Like I always say, “It it scares you, maybe it’s something you should do.”
Terri, thanks for your great comment. I love how you’ve acknowledged that we’re a bit Amy at times. I agree that not staying in that mindset is what counts and what moves us forward into learning. I think you’ve got a good blog post idea with the things you do that scare you each day. I know I’d like to read more about that!
hey mom, just fyi: in reading this great post, i noticed this typo the line “I’m surprising less fearful than I was before” should be “surprisingly ….”
Thought you’d like to know
Oh, and I liked Sharon’s comment and your response. I think the “angst period” gets shorter as you get older because you begin to realize that angst is primarily a visceral, often unproductive reaction and the learning stage is where a person really grows. I don’t always find this to be easy, but when I am able to look at adversity as a growth opportunity–law school, for example–I am happier and more productive.
Lots of love, adam
Adam Horowitz Edward V. Sparer Public Interest Law Fellow Juris Doctor Candidate, 2013 Brooklyn Law School adambhorowitz@gmail.com Cell: 908-565-1864
Thanks for catching my typo, you editing demon you! Loved your addition to Sharon’s comment. I agree that less angst = more happiness. Glad you’re learning this at your stage of life. At the age of 32 I don’t think I was there yet.